Thursday, April 2, 2009

Ahh, the Yearly Book Sale...


They might as well call it Christmas in April. It's the annual book sale, and is probably the only time you'll find me running to the campus library on a weekday.

At eight o'clock in the morning, no less--with a Tall Bald Guy and a Young Man in tow. Not that they weren't excited about the possibilities...it's just that they were able to rein in their enthusiasm a little better.

I told the Young Man last night before he went to bed that he had better wake up when I call him, because we're going to get there early, by God. He laughed at me. "You've said that three times already. Just let me go to sleep. Jeez."

Imagine my surprise when I opened the door to his room early this morning (crowbar in hand to pry his head off the pillow), only to find him sitting up in bed looking at me. "I'm awake already!" TGAPM jumped about three feet in the air--sure beats caffeine for waking up in the morning. Either he wanted to go too or he was afraid to keep his mother away from a stack of random musty library castoffs. Smart guy.

I told the Tall Bald Guy a couple of days ago, right after I saw the ad on the campus website, which was right after I hung up the phone with him. Something that good just couldn't wait. He laughed at me too, but there was a sardonic tone to it, as he remembers last year's sale. Fortunately, the memory of last year's sore biceps from carrying all the random musty library castoffs of 2008 was overshadowed by the memory of lurking in the ancient history and science fiction sections.

The Tall Bald Guy not only shared our enthusiasm for random musty library castoffs, he suggested getting there soon after the sale opens in order to find a parking space in the actual parking lot of the library. The over-celebrated, tremendously hyped student-fitness-center-in-construction takes up half the original parking lot space there (as well as $200 a year of my money!), and the construction workers' vehicles take up another fourth of it--and as I remember, the undergrads who can actually pry themselves out of their beds or who are still drunk when they arrive at their 8:00 classes are a mighty lazy bunch, and the parking lot fills up rather quickly.

We get inside, and immediately my radar kicks in and tells me that the books are all in the back east corner. The Tall Bald Guy and the Young Man mumble, "There she goes," and the beeping in my internal radar gets louder as I approach my destination. Little did I know that I passed a computer at which a male student was sitting viewing a webpage that featured a woman dressed in all the accoutrements needed for...uh...bondage. Yep. Great place for a 14-year-old boy, these college libraries. The Tall Bald Guy said the Young Man didn't see it, "even when I pointed it out to him...just kidding."

In the corner just inside the door sits an enormous stack of empty cardboard beer cases. Yep, beer cases. Miller Lite, Budwiser, and Bud Light all over the place. "How nice of the frat boys to help the library out like that," says the Tall Bald Guy. How nice indeed. They certainly went the extra mile for this fine institution.

Not that I was too proud to carry one, mind you. Or, should I say, I was not too proud to tell the Young Man to go get one. He and the Tall Bald Guy each got a box in anticipation of the carnage that was to come, and followed me at a safe distance as I perused the titles on every table. At one point, seeing the guys' boxes filling up so fast, one of the library ladies asked us if everything was okay, and the Tall Bald Guy quipped, "We may just fill up all of your boxes here. I don't suppose you have anything with wheels?" A few minutes later, said library lady brought us a cart to put our boxes on. You don't joke around with the library ladies--they're serious about their book selling! We ended up filling three boxes, and the Young Man patiently followed behind me, pushing the cart wherever I went. The Tall Bald Guy said, "you know, people are looking at you being followed by that cart," to which I snapped, "I'm not the one who suggested a wheeled box, am I?" but secretly I was glad for it. This is the first book sale for the Young Man, and I didn't want him overwhelmed; as it was, the Tall Bald Guy nearly ended up curled up in the fetal position in the back of the truck after last year's sale, rocking back and forth and mumbling to himself.

We found books for everyone--even a Mitford series book that the Grandma Behind the Curtain hasn't read yet. The Far Side books for the Young Man and me, selections by Poe and Herriot, and even The Cartoon History of the Universe and The Cartoon History of the United States. Also found were an older edition of a psychopathology handbook and The Oxford Companion to United States History, snapped up and purchased for $2 apiece-their retail prices are $175.00 and $87.95, respectively.

The Tall Bald Guy came away with volumes related to the medical terminology and A&P classes he has coming up this summer, guaranteed to assist him in all that gross anatomical ickiness that makes my stomach go all squishy. He spent $16 and came away with hundreds of dollars worth of books. The Young Man and I spent $24--when we got home, I searched for the prices of these books new, and they would have cost approximately $630.

Sigh. Nothing like a good book sale. Next time (I have already pestered the Tall Bald Guy about taking me on Saturday) the two guys will take plenty of ibuprofen first. The contented sighs as I look over my merchandise almost didn't drown out the moaning and groaning about biceps and lower backs and "those dang beer boxes."