The Young Man's Christmas List: 2008

Yes, it's that time of year again, and the Young Man has a new Christmas list. I will not pretend to know what in the world some of these things are, as I have passed the age of understanding (or I'm seriously lacking in mental capacity).

So here's the list, in no particular order of importance. Please note that I am merely the messenger, and all questions regarding items on the list will be met with a shrug and an "I dunno" from The Great and Powerful Mom.

Please note also that as I am typing this list, the Young Man is adding to it. I'm not sure that it will ever be done...you know how it is. It's an ambitious list, and the Young Man is quite aware--because I have told him that repeatedly. He knows he's not going to get all of it, but wants to throw a lot of ideas out there.

1. The Wii version of Sonic Unleashed.

2. A new GameCube controller--non-wireless, please. (TGAPM note: He has recently done some surgery on his controllers, replacing good parts for bad ones. Yes, the Rest Home for Wayward and Elderly Electronics is well under way here in Indiana...actually, ours is just a satellite location; just ask the Tall Bald Guy)

3. The World Ends With You for the DS.

4. A Classic Controller for the Wii. (So he and the Codester can play more games together.)

5. Wii points.

6. Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess for the Wii

TGAPM Note: The nut went out and bought it with the rest of his birthday money. Sheesh. I have sentenced him to forty lashes with wet garland.

7. A Gaming Mouse and Keyboard.

8. Stuff to make the computer games run faster. (TGAPM note: The Tall Bald Guy said something about memory for the computer, but my own memory fails me, so I'm just quoting the Young Man on this one.)

TGAPM also has suggestions for the Young Man, which are maybe a little more practical, but nonetheless are things he could always use:

1. Tracfone minutes

2. Rechargeable AA batteries and a charger (for the Wii controller)

3. Sweatshirts--this year he's into the zip-up kind

4. Snarky t-shirts (I think that's genetic--and I'm blaming this one on the Big Brother!)

5. Those teeny little headphone things--you know, the earpieces that go halfway into your brain...yeah, I'm old.

6. Little Caesar's Pizza gift card--one just opened up not a 1/2 mile from here, and the Young Man and the Codester are loving it!

AND..I'm really going to say it...SOCKS. Ha!

Sigh...

Seems I forgot how fun it was home schooling a little boy.

Over the last couple of weeks I (and a couple of enthusiastic neighbors) had the pleasure of helping out a friend with her 9-year-old boy. He loves science, computer games, and building things with toothpicks and marshmallows.

We stepped back a bit to get some schoolwork done but include the Little Guy at the same time, and we all had a blast. Either Little Guy has more energy than the Young Man did at nine, or I'm just getting old and out of shape...I think we all know which one is true!

There were sunny fall days at the park, afternoons spent flying toy planes and experimenting with loops and dives (and a score of rubber-ball pitches into the tree to get said toy down--TGAPM's still got it!), Spanish lessons (complete with serious competitions for the aforementioned marshmallows) and Toothpick Fish. Here's a link:

http://genetics-education-partnership.mbt.washington.edu/download/toothpickfish.pdf

Of course, we couldn't pass up the chance to do some Bikini Bottom genetic research with Spongebob and pals...

http://www.oswego308.org/schools/uploads/files/71765/Spongebob%20Genetics_1.pdf

...and I learned that structures made out of toothpicks and marshmallows can only go up six stories before the marshmallows completely give way. Next time we'll wait a few days for them to harden and add more stories.

Actually, I think Little Guy's Mom was pretty lucky to get him back at the end of the two weeks. He's a cute little stinker, and lots of fun, and I think my neighbors seriously considered not returning him home to Mom.

It was a great break from the ordinary, and we had a lot of fun, but unfortunately it's time to trade in the toys for the textbooks. The Young Man left in my house is currently flipping through one of my new favorite books:

The Teenager's Guide to the Real World
by Marshall Brain

http://www.bygpub.com/books/tg2rw/index.htm

He likes the format, and he likes knowing he's one up on his contemporaries...for example, just today he said that suits weren't really stuffy after all and that he understands why people in a suit are taken more seriously.

Why didn't they make a book like this a long time ago?

So while it was fun tripping down Memory Lane for a while, I think it's time to reenter the world of 20th century history and pre-algebra, as well as the lilting strains of "Dangit!" and "Hepl!!" that waft through the house (and yes, that's really spelled h-e-p-l, pronounced "hepuhl!").

Sigh...what fun.

"Oww Wii"

By Will Albritton / The Fresno Bee
12/14/06 17:55:17

Kevin Wray says he's never seen a gaming system as interactive as the new Nintendo Wii. And as an avid gamer, he's seen them all.

But with a gaming console that requires its players to stand up and move around comes a price: muscle soreness. Exercise physiologist and Fresno State professor Felicia Greer says the Wii is good for video gamers who may not otherwise get any exercise, as long as they prepare their bodies for the movements they're about to make.

While that video focuses on one health risk associated with the Wii, Greer (who's quickly becoming our resident health expert,) says gaming systems like the Wii could have major benefits, such as combating the ever-increasing obesity problem with today's youth.

Why didn't anybody warn us adults? Oy.

The Great and Powerful Mom (and the Grandma Behind the Curtain) surprised the Young Man with a Wii for his birthday, and the Big Brother was even in on it with accessories and a game he's been wanting. I figured, "he's into video games, he'll never guess that he's getting one from the likes of us (given our fixed incomes and the fact that we're about as electronically literate as the cat--Big Brother excepted), and I can play games with him." It has long been known that TGAPM gets "barfy" watching the Young Man play video games--I figured if I'm moving while the games are moving, I wouldn't need those motion sickness pills anymore.

I was right. I don't need motion sickness pills anymore...but I can say with authority that there's a whole new market that Nintendo hasn't tapped into:

Wii First Aid

Complete with:

Book of Stretching Exercises

Ibuprofen

Heating Pad

Special Instructions for Kids:

"When Dad Throws his Back Out Bowling"

"It's Not Rigor Mortis, it's Just the Day After Mom's Boxing Match"

"'No, Mom, Your Neck Won't Stick Like That'--How to Reassure Parents the Day After"

"'It Hurts When I Wii': How to Tell Mom and Dad to Rest Already"

So far, all the jokes about "Wii-ing all afternoon" make up for the pain--a little.